Government as a substitute for parenting
Sometimes when I hear people banging on about rights, I'm reminded of Fay Weldon's line that "right" simply means "it would be nice". This is definitely one of those times.
Would it be nice if teenagers talked to their parents before getting an abortion? Yes, absolutely. Mrs Axon is quite right that they should do so. But if a kid isn't going to talk to her mom, she's not going to talk to her mom. In that case, she's probably terrified of what her parents will say and knowing that the doctor will have to tell her mom anyway will probably put her off going to the nice clean NHS doctor. Coathanger city. Now that's progress.
Wouldn't it be nicer if parents made their children feel comfortable talking to them first? Isn't that something that only the parents can achieve — not the law?
5 comments:
I've got to agree with that. Probably going to get lynched for saying this but I've got a similar view in regard to smacking. It would be nice if parents didn't do it and it would be nice if parents found other ways to discipline their children but when push comes to shove unless there is real abuse it seems a bit unnecessary for the government to actually ban it.
Great post though.
fggog: an elderly forgetfull frog
I'd rather see a neutral 3rd party appointed as mediator between parent and child. Put everyone in a room, provide food and water and make them start talking. A participant who threaten or verbally abuse another gets "time-out" in a cell. If things can't be reconciled, emancipate the child and sever parental "rights."
And responsibilities, of course. But by some means, all involved should be kept safe, but made to talk. Just my view.
Hen, I love your word definitions. That's one cute frog. And I'm with you on smacking. (Beloved, on the other hand, is very much pro-smacking. He's actually been known to say "if they're crying, give 'em something to cry about!" Just as well I'm not dying to bear children — I fear his inner Nazi...
Jam, that's a great idea, but definitely falls in the "it would be nice" category!
Yes, it would be nice if kids talked to their parents about these things the way I've always been able to with my mum, but you're right - if they're not going to, they're not. Forcing the disclosure when the relationship isn't close enough to voluntarily talk is surely only to make things more strained? Granted, I'm not a parent, but having been on the other end I've appreciated my 'right' to make the decision about how much I tell my parents.
If parents have the right to find out about their child's 'confidential' medical matters, when would this right lapse? When the kid hits eighteen? Twenty-one? Never?
And does it mean that marriage partners should be able to access similar info about their spouses too? What about siblings? Recently a family friend found out she had ovarian cancer and told my mum but put off telling her family until she had her 'head around it'. This isn't what I would have chosen, but surely it's her right to decide who and when to tell?
This sort of stuff (hypothetical or not) makes my head hurt.
wanzaag: a particularly messy can of ethical worms.
it's such a 2-sided debate. But i have worked in medicine too long to take the approach that may limit access. In the end, I agree with the scary fact that once you choose to participate in activities that may make you pregnant, you choose to need to become an adult. That means making all the hard choices by your lonesome. Mom and Dad have already missed their chance to talk to you.
Did I piss off the Blog God? My verification: uhmtunhm.
5 minutes later, I have finally typed it out correctly and am ready to post.
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