Big thahs

As many of you know, I’ve been energetically gymming quite regularly for the past few months* and should by now be enjoying the results.

Result #1: I ripped my trousers.
Result #2: A lot more washing (those sweats get really sweaty, you know).
Result #3: No, that’s about it.

Daily mirror checks reveal to me that my shape is indeed changing. I can hold my tummy in slightly more convincingly. Taking a back view, there are less creases around my waist – at least first thing in the morning, when I’ve burnt off calories with all that sleep. Or maybe it’s just before gravity kicks in. I dunno. But I swear my waist looks better when I wake up.** My bottom is, I think, more round – less saggy.

And I have Big Thahs. This, I think, is the cause of the ripped trousers.

Now I’m not exactly complaining. Accepting that I am naturally big and curvy (to be kind), I may as well whip those curves into some kind of well toned shape. Taking those well-haunched Hawaiian chicks from Lilo & Stitch as my model. Okay. But really… do my clothes have to get tighter? Do they have to, really?

(Note: any mention of chocolate, rationing of, will earn a cyberslap.)

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* Not counting regular sick leave
** Possible solution: take regular naps throughout the day. Yeah. We all know that lack of sleep makes you overweight, so clearly, the more you sleep, the thinner you get. Is logic.