What's *your* Madonna dream?

I once saw a whole book devoted to women's dreams of Madonna. Actual night dreams, not day dreams or fantasies, y'see. It wasn't supposed to be lesbian dreams, necessarily, but there was a significant note of Sapphic yearning throughout. I found this quite fascinating. Why were all these women dreaming of Madonna? There were a lot of dreams. Enough to publish a whole book, in fact. And if this was such a key pop cultural experience, why was I missing out?

I am proud to report that some years later (and a year or so ago, now) I joined that happy throng. I, too, have dreamed of Madonna. Not with lust. (She's not my type. Too stringy.) But there was a girl-on-girl theme, all the same. I dreamed that Madonna had married my sister. And they were having a baby. I didn't approve. I didn't think she (Madonna) was good enough for her (sister). I thought she was a spoilt, selfish diva who'd just break her heart. (Can't imagine where I got that idea from.) At the same time, though, I was getting the most exquisite thrill from being able to tell people 'Yeah, Madonna's my sister-in-law.' I think this reveals far more about me than I like.

All this apropos of absolutely nothing, except that there was a 'Madonna's TV Moments' thing on last night (v boring, but nothing else was on), and having 'enjoyed' a 30-minute whirlwind tour of her 20-year career, I can honestly say: I still don't get it. There's nothing there. Yet she made it into my dream life. This is just wrong.