SGI: Language

Italian is one of the most recognisable languages around. This is partly because so many words end in -i, -o or -a*, partly because we all absorb a few Italian phrases from films, music and restaurant menus over the years, but mostly because even if you're deaf and the speaker has his or her back to you, you can still see them gesturing extravagantly. Hands are as much a speech organ as the tongue or throat, to an Italian. Use generously.

Not to repeat myself**, but you know as much Italian as I do. However, may I present a few notes on usage?

Greetings
Formally, one approaches strangers (shop assistants and such) with "buon giorno" before noon and "buona sera" thereafter. "Buona notte" does for "good night and goodbye". "Ciao", the books will assure you, is only for good friends (and if you need a phrasebook to figure out how to address this person, that's not you).
Careful observation, however, reveals that "buon giorno" is in practice used right up until evening, when it is replaced with "ciao" or "sera". Never "buona sera". Maybe the Italians wish to reserve judgment on whether it's actually a good evening until they've seen how you hold your liquor.

Politeness
The most indispensable word in the language seems to be "prego". Not a Portuguese steak roll,*** but a whole arsenal of manners rolled into one. Excuse me?**** "Prego." You're welcome? "Prego." Step this way? "Prego." Right here, sir? "Prego."

Seeing how useful it is, I have been assiduously practising my delivery (it's not so much about the pronunciation as about a certain modest tilt to the head); but I fear if I were ever to use it for anything other than a response to "mille grazie", I might inadvertently cause some kind of cross-cultural Incident. Words with meanings as context-dependent as this, I suspect, should be used only by the thoroughly acclimatised.

Essentials
Usage aside, there are a few words that it is simply very handy to know. Memorise the following.

For directions:
"Dritto", "destra" and "sinistra" are straight ahead, right and left, respectively; but who are we kidding? Just follow the hand movements.

For shopping:
"Questo?" is "how much?" and "e caro" is "it's expensive". But again, who are we kidding? You won't be able to understand the answer anyway, until they either tell you in English or point to the price-tag. Why weren't you looking at the tag in the first place? Stoopid tourist.

For restaurants:
"Acqua frizzante e mezzo litre vino rosso, per favore" will cover your drinks requirements. "Acqua normale" is tap water. "Fritte" is fried, and you better believe it's deep fried and (except patate) covered in batter. "Il conto" is the bill, and it'll probably include "coperto", a small cover charge. Everything else on the menu you'll recognise, more or less. When in doubt just point to a random item and hope. Go on, it's fun! This is Italian food... how bad can it be?*****

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* Which is why the Petrarchan sonnet has a more demanding rhyme scheme than the Elizabethan sonnet: because it can. See, it's little snippets like this that make these Scroobious guides worth the price of admission.
** Much.
*** Actual Portuguese Portuguese probably wouldn't understand this, but Saffers will.
**** Although if you're trying to pass someone on the street, it's "permesso". Say it loudly. And listen out for others using it behind you. When they're on the move, they're on the move, these Italians.
***** More in a later chapter.