Scroobious Guide to Scotland: Introduction

Not just the place we have to thank for Sean Connery, Scotland is a country with a proud heritage. The landscape is full of reminders of past cultures, from mysterious Picts to pillaging Vikings; the visitor can partake in rich traditions such as watching beefy men in skirts chuck trees around, listening to beefy men in skirts blow into goatskins, or seeing haggis fired at monsters.* Local crafters produce pottery, jewellery, glass and a peculiar beverage brewed from rotted barley. Urban centres ferment with theatre, fine dining and luxury shopping, while the craggy mountains and heather-strewn hills invite days of happy exploration.

I wouldn’t know about that. It was pissing down and we stayed in our car for four days solid.



Still, complete ignorance has never stopped me before, so this week I bring you the Scroobious Guide to Scotland. We will be taking questions from the audience after each session. I thank you.
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* I can’t find any online references to this, so let me explain: there is a trebuchet** in the grounds of Urquhart Castle that is still fired once a day – loaded with haggis, to tempt Nessie out of the depths. So I’m told. I leave it to you to decide whether they’re baiting the tourists or baiting the monster.