How *not* to complain

In sum: Parcelforce experiment failed.

I wrote that letter as a way of getting all my complaints down without driving myself nuts from the sheer boredom and frustration of listing them all. I hoped that the reader would also have a sense of humour, and that I might get a tad more of their attention than I imagine is normally assigned to such letters. ("Oh right, another double charging issue, pass it on to the depot...")

But I guess I underestimated the offence caused by accusing an organisation of being in thrall to the Dark Lord. Who knew?

This response just in:

"I am in receipt of your quite strange letter and although there may be a valid complaint somewhere in there I must admit that after reading your first paragraph I was not prepared to read any further so skipped to the relevant point near the end..."

To which I can only say: my letter ain't half as strange as your idea of customer service, bud.

(Though it is of course a fair act of literary criticism.)