Things I wish I'd known at 18

Right, I've been officially a grown-up for more than 10 years now, I must have learnt some stuff. As I approach the end of my 20s, it is fitting that I should share my hard-earned wisdom with the next generation. Not that I actually know anyone of that sort of age. Certainly no one that reads this thing. That I know of. But I might have a sweet young thing hiding among the mystery lurkers*, who knows? It is my duty to write this. For her.

[clears throat] Let me begin.

Things I wish I'd known at 18

1. Plucking your eyebrows really does work. After a decade or so of assiduous tweezering, the brow hairs will indeed be discouraged and will not grow back. It is at about this point that fuller brows will come back in fashion.

Leg hair is a lot more persistent, though.

2. ...

Actually, that's about it. Apparently I haven't learnt much in my 20s at all.

How depressing.

Oh no, I got another one.

2. There actually are jobs out there for people with an English degree. You don't have to be a secretary.

But secretaries might get paid better.

Now I'm definitely depressed.

_____
* Which reminds me. Which of you is in Helsinki? I don't know anyone in Helsinki. Are you reading this on some cunning Nokia handheld device that only thinks it's in Helsinki? I'm very curious.