Tom Lehrer deconstructed

Oh all right then, I'll play. (Hat tip to James and the Blue Cat, who's posted some very excellent efforts and you should totally go and look.)

Spring is:
- Skittles and beer
- here
- the loveliest time of the year
- incomplete without a hobby.

Hobby kit:
- cyanide
- strichnine
- peanuts
- pigeons
- squirrels (optional extra).

Pigeons will:
- try and hide
- eat peanuts
- possibly undergo vivisection.

Best avoided:
- the Audubon society…

…who call it
- impiety
- lack of propriety
- quite a variety of unpleasant names.

Still, it is:
- not against any religion
- a good way to spend Sunday afternoon in the park
- sociable.