I'm sorry, what?
In the middle of an otherwise ordinary conversation yesterday, suddenly, the following animated exchange*:
"Hey! You know those salmon bagels, right? Like, a good bagel with lots of, um, smoked salmon and cream cheese and... and... stuff?"
"Um - yes?"
"How quickly could you eat one of those?"
"...?"
"What's the fastest time you could get one of those down? If you were really hungry?"
"If I was really hungry, I guess... a minute?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Less than a minute."
"Hmm." [sits back in chair] "I've never been able to do that. Not inside a minute."
"Does it have to be salmon?"
"No, just, you know, whatever kind of bagel you really like."
"Okay."
"I think I'm going to starve myself for a day, and then go for the minute."
"Okay."
Guys are weird.
_____
* Let's be clear: neither party was me.
9 comments:
Not sure how I'll avert feelings of deep disappointment if you don't follow up with results of his attempt.
Sorry to burden you like this, but I can't help myself. I suffer from a condition called Closure Deficit Disorder, something I'm making up on the fly. So to speak. I also have a phenomenally short attention span i.e. ADD. Think about how these interact: even when I can get closure I'm onto something else before I do.
I'd wallow in self-pity but it seems like too much trouble and probably not worth the effort (Ha. I'd like to see a shrink's analysis of that statement!)
If the bagel scarfers are ill-mannered and resume their conversation somewhere other than in your hearing, could you fabricate a credible conclusion? I think that would suffice.
Thanks. In advance, of course. I'm sure you understand.
:->
Uh-oh. I missed a period.
*
*
*
In the previous comment. Sorry.
The footnote brought great relief. Guys are incredibly weird. What is he thinking? Of course it has to be salmon; other the whole under a minute theory is ruined.
Ruined, I tell you.
Two comments. One, I see nothing wrong with this exchange.
Two, anyone who says they can eat a bagel in less than a minute has clearly never tried. Bagels are very dense, difficult to speed-eat.
So grateful I'm not the only one who finds male-male communication nonsensical at times...unless you're a professional speedeater or plan to win a contest, why bother debating the issue?
(bristling) "at times?"
You're right, RaJ. Male-male communication is just nonsensical all the time.
Thanks, Cate. Glad you've got my back.
Two words: Secret. Code.
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