Unbesoddinglievable
I have lied to you all. When I said I was connected and would stay connected and would not abandon you all.
Mendacious in the extreme. Albeit inadvertently so*.
I was connected. Then I wasn't. One second to the next. And since I foolishly used the brief time when I was connected for frivolous purposes like, say, adjusting my Gmail settings - rather than my more serious duties like blogging; oh yes, and work - here I am, at 7.45pm on Sunday, in the office. Doing my work from home from work. Who'd be a part-time telecommuter when the technology ups and bites you on the ass?
I don't think it's my fault. Beloved accuses me of offending the gods of cyberspace with overfamiliar terminology (that old "interweb" thing again). But that's not it. Surely. Is it?
I cannot tell you how annoyed I am. Or how many Very Important Things I need to be online to achieve; things that I hoped to be busy with a month ago. I want somebody to yell at. Can I yell at you?
Probably not very helpful, all things considered.
____
* Extraneous polysyllabism and portentous syntax: a sure sign of distress. I get histrionic when annoyed.
6 comments:
Poor scroobious! Consider me hastening to ply you with virtual chocolate and tea and very concrete sympathy, and to join you in your ritual cursing. Curse that Internet! I have missed your frequent posts, and want you back online for purely selfish reasons, quite apart from the sympathy. Besides, it's going to happen to me, in the gap between this screen dying and me affording to replace it...
Unbesoddinglievable. Heh. Your way with words continues to provoke my envy.
I concur. Your diction gives me goose bumps.
Blake
Extemporanea: thank you for being the first person who actually knows me to say you miss my cyberpresence. Drinks are on me. (Ooh, messy.)
Cate: how nice of you to say. I had my doubts about that dystmetic* title. Expletive infixation is sometimes considered infelicitous. But it's just so darn expressive.
Blake: ooh, new reader! Wilkommen, thank you, and I wish you'd shown up at a time when I actually had something to say beyond, dammit, STILL not online.
____
* Showing off? Absobloominglutely. I just learned the word "dystmesis" and am practising it.
Too distracted by own happiness over finally being connected to sympathize....;)
I can? Oh. Okay. Right:
ICANNOTFKNBELIEVETHATINTHISDAYANDAGEITSHOULDTAKEMORETHANAWHOLEMONTHTOGETADECENTINTERNETCONNECTIONANDIFITWEREN'TENOUGHTHATBLOODYTELEWESTHADTOSCREWUSOVERFORTHEFIRSTWEEKORSOANDBLOODYBELOVEDahemImeanmydarlingmanHADTOTAKEFOREVERTOMAKEUPHISMINDANDTHENWEHADTOWAITMORETHANAWEEKFORTHELINETOBEACTIVATEDANDASFORTHEBLOODYAPPLESTORETHERESHOULDBEBIGGERCAPITALLETTERSONTHISDAMNKEYBOARDTHEBLOODYAPPLESTOREANDTHEIRBLOODYUSELESSBLOODYCOURIERSineedmorecreativeswearinginherelet'stakealeaffromanna'sbookTWUNTYBLOODYTNTANDTHEIRCOMPLETEINABILITYTODELIVERASREQUESTEDTWICEit'sbeyondcomprehensionANDTHENITTURNSOUTWECAN'TEVENGETABLOODYAIRPORTBECAUSEAPPLEDON'TDOADSLthesillytwuntsANDWEHAVETOORDERSOMETHINGNEWANDTHENITFINALLYALLCOMESTOGETHERANDWE'REONLINEFORAWHOLEFIVEFKNMINUTESBEFORETHEBLOODYROUTERCOLLAPSESANDBYTHEWAYWHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHPLUSNETTHATICANRECEIVEEMAILSBUTNOTSENDdearlordwhy?why?why?ANDWHOKNOWSHOWLONGIT'LLTAKETOGETTHEREPLACEMENTROUTERDELIVEREDthat'sassumingtheydon'tclaimthere'snothingwrongwiththeoldoneANDGOINGBYTHEPASTMONTHTHATWON'TEVENBETHEENDOFITiamstartingtolosefaiththatiwilleverhaveastableconnectioneveragain. Ever. Again. Ever.
Sob.
That was refreshing. Thanks, Gersh.
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