Ooh-er

Don't laugh now, this is personal, and I'm a bit scared. Which is silly. But there it is.

I’ve come over all insecure after reading this – a very sharp Guardian feature on money issues in relationships. Which we don’t have. I don’t think. We fall into the painfully anal category, keeping close track of who pays what and who owes who what; and while I’ve been on a low-level campaign for most of the relationship to relax things just a little, for the sake of convenience, generally it works pretty well for both of us. We’ve never shared everything, but it feels like we do. It’s worked when we were both earning, it’s worked when only I was earning, it’s worked when only Armin was earning. It even worked when Armin was earning double what I was, although that was maybe special circumstances, because he was saving very hard to study – so we were both effectively on the same budget. It has occurred to me that renegotiation might be in order if/when we have a significant, long-term disparity in income (i.e. if one of us finds ourselves in a remarkably well-paying career). But that’s for then.

Now suddenly I find myself wondering how on earth it would work if I did the usual wife thing and had a baby. It could happen. It’s not on the agenda, but it could happen. I’m pretty clear in my own mind that I don’t want to be working full-time and raising kids as well – nuh-uh. (Then again I’m not even working full-time now. So.) That way madness lies. I think Beloved understands this. So: what are the financial implications? Do we still try to keep separate finances? Do we share everything? Does Beloved give me an allowance? Do I keep a tab of what I owe him, for repayment at some future date?

Each of these options, as detailed so clinically in the article, is completely weird. Especially to me.

Well. There is an easy solution after all, and it’s one that I rather like. No babies. Phew! That solves so many problems.