Perfect

I didn't know that a custard-filled chocolate-topped doughnut was exactly what I needed right now. I didn't know that, until Lucy brought me one. Good Lucy.

Which brings me nicely to the subject I have of late been pondering: Things I don't know I want, think I don't want but do, or think I want but probably don't. Lists ahoy!

Things I think I want but don't really:
A Career (TM). I probably should, I realise, but I don't really. Getting a Career sounds like a surefire way to creeping workload overload. Boring What I want is an independent income. Which I don't have. And am not likely to get. Darn.

Another degree. Every time I talk to or hear of anyone studying anything at all, I get jealous. I think the world is full of wonderful things to learn, and universities are fun, fun places. Even home study works for me. And I feel hopelessly undereducated, with all the MAs around me. But then if I start to think of any specific thing I want to study... it's not as exciting as it should be. Unless I could spend the rest of my life studying various arts subjects at undergrad level (i.e. before it gets too bullshitty and unrelated to anything like reality). That would be fun. Expensive, pointless fun. Exactly the kind I like.

A digital camera/cameraphone. No, I actually do want one of these, but there are problems. If I get a camera, I'll never actually have it with me, or charged, when I want to snap something. If I get a cameraphone, I'll be marginally more likely to solve I'll probably end up with a lot of blurs, none of which can be deciphered without prior knowledge of the subject, which is a bit pointless really.

A glamorous, trendy wardrobe. I'd only have to lose a stone to look good in it, and that wouldn't be fun at all.

Things I think I don't want, but actually do
More energy. I feel fine the way I am, but I do spend far too much time in bed. The logic of 'If I had more energy, I'd probably have to do stuff, and I don't have the energy for that' is obviously silly and moreover, far too much like my mother for comfort.

A healthy diet. I like eating custard-filled chocolate doughnuts. They make me happy. Unfortunately I know from experience - three months of quite astonishing discipline - that eliminating wheat and sugar from my life makes me look and feel fantastic. And gives me more energy. Which I realise is quite a good thing, even if curling up under the duvet with doughnuts and knitting is much more appealing to me in my present sluggish state of mind. And then maybe I could lose a stone and look good in the glamorous wardrobe that I don' t have but think I want.

Oh, this is all getting too complicated and self-referential. I'll go do some work.