Well I thought I had something

To say, that is. But my head's not working properly today and it's gone. Maybe I'm coming down with something, just in time for the pub quiz tomorrow. I ache all over and I'm ridiculously tired and I feel stoopid.

But enough grumbling. I did have a great idea* earlier, inspired by a rather worrying blend of epicaricacy** with 'why does this happen to me?' type thoughts***. If we assume, for the sake of argument, that what goes around comes around; and we know that nobody believes themselves to be a bad person; then it's a logical conclusion (well, it is to me) that there will be bad people, to whom bad things happen in the course of karmic wossname, who are utterly confounded by their misfortune. Now, wouldn't it be nice**** if they could be told why they deserved this? As for instance: you crashed your car because you're a big fat bully. Or, your dog has died because you don't deserve it anyway, you selfish person you.

Or perhaps something more specific and indeed, helpful, to assist in the noble journey of self-improvement we are all embarked on. Imagine if you could subscribe to a text service. Picture it: "Oh dear, I've mysteriously put on 2kg, how could this happen? [phone beeps] Look, it's my Karma Call! [reads] 'You made bitchy comments about the fat waitress in an audible tone.' Oh, I see now that was wrong, I will never do it again.' " Honestly now, isn't that a good idea?

Look, I'm having a bad day, forgive me. I'm sure I'll be struck down with tonsillitis for expressing these uncharitable thoughts. And I'm sure I'll get some Karma Call emails to point that out to me.

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* If by 'great' you mean 'nasty, pointless and more than a bit creepy', which of course you do.
** Yes, it's a word. Look it up. Who said Schadenfreude was a specifically German concept?
*** What's the word for that? I know there is one. What is it? Please?
**** Again, 'nice' in a particularly vicious sort of way.