Thursday, January 06, 2005

My mum's gone all techie

Well, actually she hasn't at all. Except inasmuch as she always has been a bit of a computer fiend. But that's her problem, and nothing to do with this post. This post is quite different. This post is all about the notice in the staff kitchen that says: SPIKED?

When I was a teenager, I remember hearing lots and lots of dire warnings from my mother (and uncle, and grandparents; they were a Dire Warning kind of family) that going out to a disco, or similar, almost certainly meant having sinister strangers (or even sinister friends) put Something in your drink. I was never quite clear on what this something was, but formed the general impression that my mother believed I would leave the premises irrecoverably hooked on some dangerous drug. As a result (of this and other, dafter things) I concluded my mother was extremely silly and I could never believe a word she said.

Then came the age of Rohypnol, and now the Mum that is Occupational Health & Safety is putting up posters in the kitchen warning me not to let anyone buy me a drink, or indeed get close to any drink I may have independently bought for myself. What's more, they are claiming to have 'a limited number' of gadgets that will somehow, mysteriously, let me know if my drink has in fact been spiked. How very peculiar.

I can't decide whether I am more curious to know how on earth such a gadget would work (I don't want to be dropping foreign objects in my glass, do I? That would be weird); or to know whether anybody actually asked for one of them. And if the limited number were in fact snapped up in record time, does that make my colleagues paranoid? Or me foolhardy?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Worse still. You're single. You're in a bar looking cute and available. A not-unattractive guy says something witty and gets your interest enough to offer you a drink, which you accept. He has words with the bartender and comes back bearing your favourite tipple. You thank him for it and accept it graciously, ONLY TO WHIP OUT YOUR ROHYP-NO(tm) into which you pour the contents of your glass and wait for the green LED on the side to light up signifying it's safe to drink. Then you coolly pour the drink back into your glass, sip it and bat your eyelids at the less-than-impressed lothario. They'll sale like hotcakes, I tells ya, hotcakes!

The alternative scenario, in which you discretely turn your back on your suitor to slip the slim and elegant DETECT-ALL into your glass, has potential for comedy embarassment too. I'll leave it to you to fill in details.

Tangent: This is the kind of trivia at which you excel; what are hotcakes anyway?