Because information wants to be free

And definitely not because any of my readers might have anything less than daisy fresh tootsies.

As promised, only slightly late in the delivery*, here is the notorious stinky feet post. It's not very interesting unless you have stinky feet. But if you do have stinky feet, this will change your life. Really. I mean it.

Now, a little background. While we all have feet — except for a very unlucky few — all feet are not created equal. And a surprisingly large number of people seem to have some kind of issue about their lower extremities: too big, too small, too bony, too wide, too weird, too smelly. The smelly part, in particular, can be a source of grave social discomfort, because like all forms of body odour, the general belief is that to smell is to be disgusting. Those not cursed with stinky feet assume that the smell must arise from lack of hygiene. Some of us have found this to be Not So.

Hello. I'm Scroobious, and I had stinky feet.

Believe me, I tried to fix it. I cleaned and dried thoroughly. I used sprays and powders, which generally smelled worse than The Feet, as well as choking me and causing white footprints to appear on the carpet as soon as I took my socks off. I was perpetually at war with The Feet. The Feet were winning. I endured well meant advice from my nearest and dearest such as: wash your feet in a peppermint solution twice a day, or, wear socks with everything (ladies! Imagine, if you will, the sartorial horror!). Which was fair enough, because after all they had to endure The Feet. Now, I did keep The Feet under some sort of control, through the powders and the cleaning and the wardrobe control. I had to wear only real leather shoes, which had to be either very open (to allow The Feet to breathe) or very sturdy (to allow the wearing of socks). But I never got to the stage where I could remove my shoes without fear and embarrassment.

Until now.

(Are we intrigued yet?)

The solution, y'see, came to me entirely by accident. The solution is very simple, very effective, very illogical, and apparently quite permanent. It's also unlikely to find approval from the Australian army, but hey. They can stink if they want to. *shrug*

The solution lies in the golden rule of beauty care: Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise. Seeking softness, I found freshness. How exciting is that?** You know the deodorant ad, "So effective you can even skip a day?" People. On my recent trip to SA, I skipped three weeks. Three weeks without any cream or powder, in the African summer, with full sweatiness. But no stinkiness! I am cured!

So there you have it. To beat The Feet, get some perfectly ordinary, non-medicated, moisturing foot cream and apply daily after showering. You can add a sprinkle of talcum if you like, it won't hurt (and thanks to the creamy underlayer, you won't have white footprint problem either), and it's probably a very good idea in the initial stages, but ultimately, all The Feet want is to be soft and smooth. Give 'em what they want, and they'll call off the war. Isn't that sweet? Awww...

_____
* I'm easily distracted. What, all the footnotes didn't give that away?
** Not very, I realise, but try to understand the Liberation!