Scroobious resolutions
Dear 2006
I'm so excited. You're so shiny and new. I just know we're going to make a great team. Look, here's everything I'm going to do for you. I made a list.
I solemnly promise that this year:
I will keep my nails filed, my hair trimmed and my shoes polished.
I will get out of bed early enough to blowdry my hair, eat breakfast and walk from the station to work, not take a bus.
I will take the stairs.
I will do my sit-ups.
I will cleanse, tone and moisturise.
I will floss.
I will keep the floor swept, the bed made and my desk clear.
I will keep my houseplants alive.
I will plan my knitting projects carefully, make them quickly and type the pattern up properly as soon as it's done.
I will use up the balls in my stash before buying any new yarn.
I will drink peppermint tea instead of hot chocolate, and lunch on salads instead of paninis.
I will do my freelance work as soon as I can, not as late as I can get away with.
I will live within my budget.
I will not drink more than three units of alcohol in one sitting.
I will celebrate my 30th birthday with dignity and decorum.
I will go to every party I'm invited to, even if it's on the other end of London and I'm really tired.
I will, in short, not be such a lazy cow.
So in return, please, I'd like you to make me rich and thin, and to add another hour or two to the day, because let's face it, without that I'm never going to handle all these promises. Do we have a deal?
Optimistically yours,
Scroobious
8 comments:
"three units of alcohol"
Nice, better that you keep it open-ended. Who's to say what a "unit" is? A glass? A bottle? Keg?
I like how you think. Sadly, one medical unit is quite specific - 125ml of wine. Half a pint of beer. 25ml of spirits. Basically, one half-decent cocktail and you're over your three-a-day limit immediately. So the chances of my actually sticking to this? About the same as my chance of winning the lotto.
What if you were to drink *peppermint* hot chocolate? Would that count?
And you can't win the lotto this year. It's my turn. I bags it.
Welcome back, by the way - I don't think I've said that yet. You were missed.
Oh, and I like cocktails. Specially ones in the brown food group. Mmmmm.
Why thank you Prowl. Tell you what, you can win the Australian lotto, I'll stick with the UK. Then we can both win. Okay?
(Peppermint chocolate: mmm, I like the way you think. Obviously that's a herbal drink, and therefore Healthful. Plan!)
Has 2006 replied yet? Swamped I'm sure, but still. A prompt and timely response means year-long encouragement.
On the other hand...
No. I'm less impressed with this year by the minute. Slow response time and a nasty practical joke habit are being revealed (see today's not-yet-posted post).
"use up the balls in my stash before buying any new yarn"
That's both blasphemy and against the laws of nature, surely? ;)
I think the same can be said of most of my "resolutions" (see: peppermint tea vs hot chocolate scandal). But yes, you speak truth.
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