Sunday, February 19, 2006

Survey

Were I to tell you that my lovely new eye serum (with horsechestnut and Japanese pagoda* to target puffiness and dark circles! Proven to reduce wrinkles after four weeks!) seems to have a remarkably tingly effect, verging on painful stinging, the appropriate response would be:

a) Beauty is pain.
b) Don't you just love how you can feel the magic ingredients targeting those wrinkles?
c) You scroobious fool, what made you think this eye cream would be any less eye-watering than the last one** (or three) you tried?

For interpretive purposes, should you answer (c), please indicate whether you consider "Because it was more expensive, and I'm about to turn 30" an acceptable defence.

_____
* Bet your cosmetics don't contain Oriental buildings. How they squeeze that whole thing into such a tiny tube, I just don't know.
** I am happy to report that since then, I have, sort of, gotten over myself. The bathroom shelf is somewhat less cluttered. Somewhat.

5 comments:

ThePurpleOwl said...

Might the Scroobious one have been putting this pagoda-laden gel a little *too* close to her eyes? As the daughter of a beauty therapist I've heard all sorts of horror stories... and eye-gel *in* the eye is actually not such a good thing. Who woulda thunk it?

Ah, word ver... 'orrrpoo' to you too.

Spinsterella said...

I heard* that when people have cosmetic surgery on their eyes, most of the gunk removed is accumulated eye-moisturiser-crap.

*From my flatmate. Who, admittedly, is not actually a plastic surgeon.

(BTW - it's great being 30 - honest)

ScroobiousScrivener said...

Prowl: I'm remarkably careful to keep the stuff so far away from my eyes, it can only be imagined to be having any effect through the power of fumes. Yet another reason to wonder why I bother.

Spinsterella: welcome! And, dear lord, really? The evidence is building overwhelmingly to the point where I should throw all my magic potions in the bin with dramatic wiping of hands. But then I'd have to accept that there's nothing I can do about the weird skin crinkling effect. And I cannot accept that.

Truth to tell, though, I'm perfectly happy about turning 30. I do think it's rather great. I'm just too much of a drama queen not to make a fuss.

glo said...

anything containing a pagoda is good enough for me....I'd use it no matter how likely it was to sting. C'mon...we all know that pagodas can solve all your premature aging ills...

ScroobiousScrivener said...

Dem, Dem, Dem. Don't try to pretend you're familiar with the bitchier corners of reality TV; you'll just embarrass yourself. Project Runway is the one with gay men putting girls into unwearable clothing; America's Next Top Model is the one with, um, gay men putting girls into unwearable clothing.

Okay, I see your problem. The thing to remember, though, is that PR is all about the designers; ANTM is all about the models. Quite different.

Glo: Quite. If they can perform the miracle of getting a building in a bottle, the miracle of eliminating wrinkles must surely be child's play.