Why I am not trendy

There's a particular shade of green - somewhere between lime and olive - that should be hideous, but instead is vibrant and enlivening, and it's everywhere right now. But what fascinates me is this: everyone seems to be wearing it in fantastically coordinated outfits. Matching coats, shoes and jewellery, for one very common example. Which somehow strikes me as really impressive.

If I imagine myself seeing, and being tempted to buy, say, a pair of olive-lime-green shoes, f'rinstance, I know I'd be thinking 'Ooh, that's lovely* but what on earth would I wear it with? Absolutely nothing. No way. Moving on.' Ditto coat. Jewellery only slightly less so.

Yet somehow, the fashionable people of London - actually I don't mean the fashionable people, I just mean everybody but me, all the dedicated shoppers out there - and yes, that does seem to be everybody in this town - too many parentheses. Stop. So, them. They somehow manage to buy these outrageously coloured accessories, presumably one by one, until they get to the point where they have a perfectly this-season colour theme going, and can impress the easily impressed (me) with the coherence of their Look. It's amazing. It's so... reckless.

This is possibly further evidence of how I am simply not cut out for frivolity.

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*I might think 'that's hideous'. But only if I hadn't seen so much of it already, looking so inexplicably gorgeous. I'd probably still realise it would be hideous on me, though.