Friday, August 19, 2005

Fear and loathing

Is it possible to take out a hit on a software program, do you suppose? You see, I'm reluctantly forced to conclude that the world would be a far, far better place without HP Image Zone and Document Viewer.

No, let's not mince words. I hate that thing with a consuming passion. I'm fairly certain that Image Zone is the Antichrist. It's definitely doing the devil's work wherever it goes - spreading chaos and confusion, whipping users into an impotent frenzy. It must go, right? I'm reliving that episode of Buffy season 4 here, where she wants to murder her college roommate. Her friends tell her she's overreacting, but Buffy measures her toenail clippings - which keep growing, after being detached from her body! - and knows the girl's evil. And must be stopped. It's exactly the same. But without the toenails.

I won't go into the grisly details of exactly why it makes me so angry. I'll pretend that I'm holding back for fear of boring you, but in fact, it's more that I know I'll just end up blinking helplessly and whining, "It doesn't WOOOORRK..."

Which is enough information for anybody, right?

4 comments:

Sarah Cate said...

There's got to be some kind of service. Instead of the Geek Squad, handy 'puter fix-it types, a Geek SAS, trained ruthless software killers, to just get rid of the problem altogether.

glo said...

Yikes. Software issues. I hate that. Our network at home went down last night because of the worm and I pretty much stole your line. I couldn't do anything, but I was highly annoyed.

Bill C said...

As a professional codemonkey I feel compelled to chant things like Software is good, Software is our friend. Or maybe PIBKAC*, a popular explanation among IT types for alleged software problems (go ahead Omar, deny it - I dare you).

But I know better in this case, for two reasons. (1) Scroobious Does Not Lie, and (2) HP image-related software sucks. Totally. Their development team should be prosecuted, then executed as a service to the worldwide community of software users.

* "Problem Is Between Keyboard And Chair"

ScroobiousScrivener said...

Thank you all for your support, Jam in particular; I value the affirmation of a pro geek. I'm a great believer in PIBKAC (or user error, simply put) and am usually the first to look askance at my colleagues when they start hitting the keyboard in random patterns and hyperventilating. But honestly. This HP crap is Unacceptable. (They've probably been hiring the monkey! It explains so much...)

Luckily, Jam, through one of your fine connections, I may have just found an answer. Thank heavens for the Geek Squad! They may not terminate with extreme prejudice, but a little assisted larceny can be even more useful.