To a certain Google user
My dear child,
I was deeply touched by your search. Its simplicity - and yet, tragic misdirection - cut straight to my heart.
One hears so much these days of the power of search engines. I can see why you would clutch, as a drowning man clutches a straw, at the hope that Google would find that which you so desperately seek. But you must by now have realised: this is not the way. While the internet is indeed a fount of knowledge, and might well be able to assist you in your quest, certain refinements to your terms are needed.
"Mom" won't do.
Specifically, I am not your mother.
I wish you all the best. Please do send me a photo when the happy reunion takes place.
Regretfully,
The Scrivener
9 comments:
Doesn't addressing this to "My dear child" kind of send a mixed message? Just wondering. Or am I pondering? I'm not sure what I'm doing, to be honest. Sorry.
:)
At least you're not getting hits from people looking for "my friend's hot mom" or, even worse, "my hot mom".
Most of my hits are for "Sexy feet." All because of one post I did about feet.
Jam: I know, I know. Couldn't help it though. The poor dear brought out my matronly side.
Cate: so you're implying you do get those hits? My my. When I was 12 I had a classmate who kept asking me about my "hot dad". Really confused me.
Tayster: it's good to be known as the sexy feet guy, I reckon. You gotta have your special thing.
Yes, I do get those hits, occasionally. It disturbs me. Greatly.
Can somebody tell me how to find out if someone found my blog through a Google search?
I'm too sleepy to care that I've just revealed myself as a technologically illiterate buffoon.
Good ole StatCounter, dear.
I miss the good days, when sexual deviants found their way to my blog. Ever since the cheeseburger pizza, that's all I get...
Like Glo said, but in slightly more detail: www.statcounter.com - there are also plenty of similar services. But we like statcounter. Open a free account, get a bit of code, stick it on your template. But be warned, it will lead to all kinds of neuroses.
Yes, I like to refer to statcounter as "crackcounter." My addiction to it is almost as bad as my addiction to blogging itself.
My search engine hits are all from either the Wiggles or the Alka-seltzer US Open of competitive eating.
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