I bet if we kept the names and lost the bugs, most people would be fine with that
New government planning policy aimed at protecting biodiversity includes a list of creepy crawlies that are to be protected.
I apologise for that opening. I realise it was exceptionally soporific. I just needed to give the background so I could get on with naming (some of) the beasties:
The gilkicker weevil
The shining ramshorn snail
Tooth fungus
The depressed river mussel
The dark bordered beauty
The hornet robberfly
Lindenberg’s leafy liverwort
Wart-biter grasshopper
The six-spotted pot beetle
So if you’re feeling a bit down, remember, things could be worse. You might be a depressed river mussel. I bet they find it much harder to get therapy.
5 comments:
I thought I *was* a depressed river mussel. Must I take on an identity crisis as well?
Ye gods! Alice Through The Looking Glass flashbacks! Come on, scroob, admit you made some of them up. With names like that, Carroll had no need to invent the Rocking-Horse Fly et al. I particularly like the six-spotted pot beetle. One could really rejoice in a name like that.
I definitely didn't make them up. I don't have the imagination for it.
Jam: no mussel I know could wear your shoes. If this precipitates an identity crisis, try to remember that it's always better to deal with the painful truth than to live a lie. We'll be here for you.
Mussels wearing shoes... hmm. Words and images begin to saunter through my mind: bivalves - "large" varieties of course - laced into a nice mixed-color pair. And pseudopods. Normally associated with one-celled organisms, sure. But what about pseudopodded mollusks? I see no obstacles preventing this.
Though I'm not keen on dealing with snail slime left inside my Chuck Taylors.
There you go then, we seem to have dealt with your identity crisis. You are now easily able to distinguish between you (the shoe owner) and the molluscs*.
Scroobious Scrivenings, the place to go for instant cutprice headshrinking.
___
*I sneer disparagingly** at your American spelling.
** I have no fear of redundant tautology.
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