Wednesday, August 17, 2005

For that special fleapit experience

Last night I finally got to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory*, which is good, but I saw it at the scuzziest cinema I have ever been in. Which, obviously, is bad.

Scuzzier than the Golden Acre. Scuzzier than the Hillbrow Mini-Cine***. A lot scuzzier than the Prince Charles - which I happen to love, but I know people who refuse to go there because it’s “sticky”. Never noticed that myself. And at least they remember to switch the lights off.

A number of seats were broken. The upholstery was not just frayed, it was actually falling off. It was permeated with a suspicious, unidentifiable, though not overpowering, odour. In the toilets, the one cubicle with a working light had a broken lock.

It’s an odd day when the bus ride is better than the cinema.

____
* And of course I loved it. Although I’m not sure I approve of psychoanalysing Wonka. Or him channelling Michael Jackson. But Tim Burton is still My Man**.
** And I finally saw the Corpse Bride trailer! I’m in heaven! It’s got Johnny, and puppets. It’s dark and romantic and beautiful and it rhymes. I cannot wait.
*** Although I admit that I haven’t been there since about 1989. It’s entirely possible that it’s deteriorated since then. If it’s still running, which I doubt, the Mini-Cine – located in the gangland war zone that is inner Joburg - may in fact now be scuzzier than the Hammersmith UGC. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

2 comments:

omar said...

Nothing ruins a moviegoing experience like a crappy theater (for me). I can't focus on the movie when I'm always concerned about what that substance is on the armrest.

Then again, I've only been to the theater twice in the past year and a half. So it's not often an issue.

Bill C said...

Omar - seriously, armrest oogies found in most* theaters are but pale poseurs (I'm adding this to my favorite-word list, for real) compared to the health assassins effortlessly generated by many infants and toddlers every single day. As a parent of a small child you develop immunities to all things icky, so - no problem!

* I have no personal experience with non-family oriented theaters and oogies therein, though I can imagine...no. I'd rather not.